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Remember this ridiculously awkward bit from American Idol Tuesday night?

Well, during this cringe-worthy display, I was thinking two things.

1. Please make this stop

2. Jessica Furney = Quinn from Zoey 101 + (Tracey Ullman x Kellie Martin)


I’ve never played Dungeons & Dragons. The only reason I remotely understand how the game is played is the penultimate episode of Freaks & Geeks, Discos & Dragons. Now I have to go listen to the Grateful Dead and cry… Anyway, you need no more than a passing familiarity with the infamous game Munchkin is spoofing to enjoy the living hell out of this card game where you “Kill the Monsters, Steal the Treasure, Stab your Buddy.” Here’s a sample of some the cards the deck has in store for you.
The duck of DOOM! It’s ridiculous, frustrating, and instills the blood lust required to stab your buddy in the back when you draw enough cards to really screw him over. I sat down to play a quick game with my boyfriend so I could learn all the rules and not completely suck when we played with other people. Three hours later, I was refusing to go to sleep until I had won a game. Between being repeatedly stripped down to a level 1 by cards like the Duck of Doom and other monsters that set my character on fire and ate it while it was still roasting alive and all the curses my boyfriend was repeatedly throwing my way, I had yet to come close to winning. But then he drew the Duck of Doom, and oh the tides, they did turn.

The game is hilarious, addictive, and a total blast. So when your eyes are burning from staring at screens all day, and you just can’t face Mass Effect 2 or Bioshock 2, play Munchkin!

Mild spoiler alert!

Okay. So. I have a lot of time on my hands right now and thusly have decided to watch a bunch of movies I’ve never seen, read a bunch of books I’ve never read, and as you can probably tell from the title of this post, play a bunch of video games I’ve never played.

My first mission? Bioshock.

Bioshock was one of those games I was always interested in, but was also always WAY too freaked out by to actually sit down and play. I have a thing about scary video games. I don’t like them. I don’t like people playing them around me. They make me sad. But I’ve heard such good things about this game for so damn long, I decided to say fuck it, Bioshock 2 comes out this week, so I’m just gonna stop being a pussy & not only play Bioshock, but beat it in two days. Well, I originally planned on beating it in two days, but quickly discovered the game was just too cool to force into only forty-eight hours. So I took my time…and beat it in four days instead. 😉

I mean…this game. THIS GAME. No wonder you have all been raving about it for years! It’s genius. GENIUS I SAY. Obviously I saved all the little sisters and got the happy ending and obviously it made me cry because, well if you’ve seen the ending, you know why, and obviously I’m beating Bioshock 2 next week.

It got me thinking – would this make a better movie or TV show or can it really only work in video game form? Rapture is such a fascinating world with such dark secrets, that I feel like it’s worth exploring more than what a two hour movie would allow. But then with only one main character, would a TV show even really make sense? With no romance or human interaction for 4 seasons? Just mystery discovered, mystery revealed after mystery discovered mystery revealed? That sounds kinda dumb. But I want more of this story, I want more of this world. I want to know what Jack looks like, I want to see actors play the scene between Jack & Andrew Ryan, I want to see Jack’s reactions when he learns the truth, I WANT.

(CORRECTION: Maybe I don’t wanna see that scene between Andrew Ryan and Jack after all….see comments…)

I know it’s in development right now, with Gore Verbinski no longer directing, but rather producing. But man, if this is made into a movie, it has to be done just right. It should make us feel what the video game makes us feel, not be some dumb adaptation that doesn’t do such genius any justice. It makes me nervous! Thoughts?

Have you played Bioshock? Were you as obsessed as I am? Were you good or evil? Did you kill Cohen and take a picture of his body & get the Irony Achievement or did you not kill him and open the secret room in his apartment and get the Found Cohen’s Room Achievement? Or did you know about these achievements before you played the game and were sneaky & got both? If so, DAMN YOU.

Okay. This post about nothing is over now. I just loved this game and needed to document my love for it is all. :).

Found on Low Industrial, who writes

This British seatbelt PSA is gradually hokey and then suddenly powerful. It reminds me of this Acura safety commercial from a year or two ago. Beautiful work, both.

Totally agree. This shit just made me cry. Damn you, Brits!

This is nothing short of brilliant.

All Things Fangirl writer, NYU alum, and all around great gal TooAdorkable is the star of this video, asserting herself as a force to be reckoned with at the age of two. The video features her trying to explain to her mother that she “brokah” her “fingah” but when mommy can’t stop laughing, mini-adorkable gets VERY upset. Also check out the sly looks to the camera. Someone knows she’s being filmed! Saavy toddler, you!

Enjoy the how-isn’t-this-a-viral-smash-yet video, below

Hat Tip: @xoxogg‘s Tumblr

Watch John Mayer–being honesty, witty, and the wonderful guitar player/songwriter that he is–on Vh1’s Storytellers. Despite the rumors that he’s a womanizing douche and despite his silly singing face, I LOVE HIM AND WANT HIM.